Thanks to Brandee

See, Brandee, I'm not commenting, but I'm reading your blog.

Thanks to Brandee, I realized today that the email subscription link I had previously is no longer working. I've now set up one through FeedBurner, so everyone who was so lost without me before can now find me again...

Yeah, okay...You can find the link to the left to sign up for email updates.

Not for the faint of...well, probably just inappropriate for anyone to read...

Annie plays in the bathtub for five minutes every night before she gets a bath. Tonight I left the room to get her towel and washcloth, and she quickly called me back in.

"Mom!!! There's something in my body!"

Fearing she'd pooped in the tub like a few weeks ago, I ran in.

She repeated, "Mom, there's something in my body," and pointed (and this is where the men should probably stop reading) to her vagina.

"Yes, Annie, that's your vagina."

"What's a bagina?"

"It's what you pee from."

"Oh. Where's your bagina?"

"It's in my clothes."

"Oh," she then stood up and looked down at the floor outside the tub. Obviously searching for something, she finally looked back at me again.

"Your bagina's in your shoes, Mommy?"

...............Bizarre. I just don't expect to have these conversations. And no parenting magazine has ever covered this issue: What To Do When Your Daughter Thinks Vaginas Belong In Shoes.

I LOL'd

Annie just walked into Ike's office and said, "Daddy, can you get my evil out for me?"

Ha ha ha ha. You should have seen Ike's face. He looked up at me, questioningly, then replied, "Umm...no."

Should I tell him she meant "easel" or is okay to keep up the fun?

(Now she's chanting, "Dad! My evil! Dad! My evil!")

Sustainable Agriculture

My mom and dad have started their own organic garden at home and they've picked their first harvest! Because I kill plants just by being near them, I can't do this myself, so I'm living vicariously through their plants...

It's not a lot (yet), but here's the first food to come from their garden. Yay!



I should point out here that my kids planted those beans from seeds. Maybe my plant death illness is not hereditary...

This is why I seem like a bad mom

It's not fair that she looks all cute and innocent all the time, while I look red-faced and mean. It's really not fair. After all, my meanness is HER fault.

Grr.

Late night band practice

Okay, the addiction has gotten so bad so quickly that we couldn't keep ourselves from playing Rock Band again after Annie went to bed. Of course we woke her up, so here the band is again--joined by the little sister.




(It's tragic what drugs do to young rockers, isn't it?)

Rock Band!

Okay, it's official: I am the least musically talented member of our family. Shocking, I know, I thought it would be Ike, too.

Pictures of the family playing Rock Band: the best birthday present (that Jake picked out himself with birthday money) EVER.

Just ignore the mess all around them (I cropped out some of it, our house hasn't recovered from the slumber party).

And as Jake just pointed out, "Doh, Annie's naked!" Please ignore that too...she'd just gotten out of the bath and rushed in when she heard Jake singing along to Bon Jovi.

Jake Turns 7

Jake is seven today! Jake is seven today! I can't believe it...our little boy, all grown up. And what did he spend his (and our) birthday money on?

Rock Band for the Playstation 2 (which I'm sure you'll see pictures of later) and this BIG NERF GUN.

Notice that it's almost as tall as him?

More reporting from the trenches...

It's 9:56 pm and I can find all of the boys but one. I think that's pretty good, I just hate that the one friend who reads this won't have a son anymore (sorry, Snoa).

We survived pizza, cake and ice cream and presents. The boys ran around outside until it was too dark to see (and even a little longer). Ike hurt one (sorry again, Snoa), but for the most part it was a good time.

It's 9:58 pm and now they're ALL settled in their sleeping bags (whew, no worries, Snoa). They're watching X-Men and will hopefully be lulled to sleep by all the mutant violence...

Ike delivers pizza. Thank God for Ike...
Boys before cake. As Ike pointed out, who was the idiot who started this tradition? Get a bunch of kids together, give them too much sugar, then let them go wild??
Boys with Wall-E masks.
Jake's job for the next week is to feed our neighbor's fish twice a day. We all took a field trip over and it went just fine, despite Ike's misgivings...
See his misgivings?

Boys just aren't boys without a small arsenal.

Jeremiah lost a tooth (it was loose before he got here, I swear). Umm...does the Tooth Fairy have to visit here or does she wait until he gets home??

Reporting from the trenches

...If I survive, this could be the first in a series of reports. If I don't make it...please divide up my belongings among you.

Jake's birthday slumber party started one hour ago. The boys tore through the water balloons I lovingly filled and tied within the first ten minutes...then turned to me with something terrible in their eyes. I think it was...boyness...It was definitely scary.

I quickly turned on the sprinkler. Boys in water? They're insane. And they scream like little girls. Seriously, I think they scream louder than little girls would.

We're now inside, awaiting pizza (and Ike). Three boys are playing in one room, two in another. I'm okay.

There may not be many pictures, as when I took one, all of the boys screamed and ran at me with lightsabers. I fell to my knees (I really did, I'm not ashamed) and begged for mercy. I promised no more pictures...We'll see what happens.

Reporting live (for now) from The House of Boys. And one mom.



Jake and Annie with Wall-E masks. These are party favors that will be given out later if the boys ever stop moving.



All the boys (minus Brooks, who had to leave early) right before they threatened my life.


Luke, diverting attention while the others ran away (so much for a second picture).

The kids help out

This afternoon after laying Annie down for her nap, I walked into the kitchen to find Jake standing on a stool with my Fannie Farmer cookbook open in front of him.

"Oh, hey, Mom," he said over his shoulder, "Does powdered sugar work as well as regular sugar for a cake?"

"Umm...no. Wait, what?" Then I saw the powdered sugar (fortunately not yet opened) on the counter, too.

"Jake, what are you doing?"

"I'm making you a coffee cake. See, it's quick." (The name of the recipe was "Quick Coffee Cake.")

I know, it was cute, it was sweet, BUT I'd spent over an hour scouring almost every inch of the kitchen before putting Annie down. What I didn't want at that moment was flour and sugar all over the place. I squashed his creative (and culinary) impulse with a diversionary tactic.

"Hey, Jake, want a peanut butter cookie?"

And with that, the cake was forgotten.

Annie helped in her own way this evening. I left the room to start their bath water, and when I returned Annie was "helping" with the laundry. Or anyway, she was wearing one pair of my panties on her head, another she was swinging around in circles...

"Annie, what are you doing with my underwear?"

At that, Jake groaned and dove under a couch cushion, yelling, "Your underwear??? My eyes! My eyes!"

Just another day, folks...it's a party all the time (complete with underwear on the head and cake).

Pink Eye, Goonies & Pictures

Here I've been worried that Jake was just on the edge of tears for two days...and he's got pink eye ("Oh! That's oozing, not crying!"). Caught just before his upcoming slumber party, but not before we spread it all around Greensboro's Children's Museum today...

Before I post the pictures from our afternoon of fun, I should let those of you who might suspect otherwise know: The Goonies? Remember that from your childhood? That innocent story of kids who save their parents from financial ruin?

Not. Appropriate. For. Kids.

What were our parents thinking??? Tonight Jake and I sat down to watch it. I thought it actually might be a fun movie for him and his friends to watch Friday night... Yeah, fun...Within the first five minutes, Jake had said, "Mom, he said a cuss word," three times AND we watched as the boys tried to glue a penis back onto a statue. Fortunately, Jake pretended not to notice that (thank you, Jake). Oh, oh! And there was the scary dead guy in the freezer. And Sloth, the nice but scary-as-hell-looking Fratelli brother...

Okay, okay, The Goonies came out in 1985, which means I was three years older than Jake is now. Perhaps in three years, it'll be more appropriate for him as well...

Pictures!

Jake spent most of his time at the museum in Creation Station while I chased Annie everywhere else. See his artistic pose? All ready to choke himself for his art...or something...


Annie painted three long pieces of newspaper and one egg carton, then ran off to other parts of the museum. I left her "artwork" at the museum, not thinking about it at all, until after her nap when she saw Jake's creation and said, "Mommy, where's my painting?" Yes, I suck.


Annie rearranging the table in the playhouse.


Look, I almost got kids to stay still at the same time!


The results of Jake's labor: it's Indiana Jones. I mean, I know you can tell by looking at it, but just in case...

What Annie learned from Dr. Seuss

Annie loves to read. She spends her entire day begging someone--ANYONE--to please read a book to her. Then read it again. Then read it again. Then...well, you probably get the idea.

Tonight for bed, we read One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. Some of you have also memorized this book, but for those of you who haven't, there's a particular rhyming segment with "Ned," who has a bed that is too small.

When I tucked Annie in after finishing the story, she wrinkled up her nose and said, "I do not like my little bed." Then she tried to stick her head out of the top (like Ned ends up doing).

Great. She'll be up all night now, trying to convince us her bed is too small.
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Granddaddy, roped into reading when he brought peaches and diapers yesterday.


Annie telling Granddaddy what part to read again.


Ike reading at bedtime last night.

God in the small things

So this morning has been a great morning with the kids. Ike and I have dabbled in the idea of exposing the kids to a (very liberal) church, but I don't know...I can't imagine I'd find more of God there than I do with my children every Sunday morning.

Of course, sometimes it's the wrathful, vengeful side of God...but that's not today, so I'm feeling good.

First thing this morning I made peanut butter and jelly muffins from a Cooking Light cookbook Mom gave me. I loved them (for those keeping score, I know, I'm vegan. By eating one muffin, I had a twelfth of an egg and a eighth of a tablespoon of milk. Kick me out of the club), but the kids were not as receptive. When will I learn that if it doesn't have chocolate chips in it, I might as well not make it??

While the muffins cooked, we did a craft together with minimal arguing (on my part). And after breakfast, Annie and Jake started playing ball in the house--if it gives me time to read and finish my coffee, I let it go--and having a great time. Annie decided to become a princess, so she told me to (not asked me to) put her princess dress on. When Jake came in her room while she was getting dressed, she pointed at him and yelled, "YOU MUST BOW TO ME, JAKE!!"

For his part, Jake shrugged, bowed to her and left the room. Yeah, we all just do what she says...

While I'm writing about what the kids say, I have to add what Jake has taken to saying to me when he cuddles up next to me. It's oh-so-sweet...

"Mom, you're as soft as a pillow and ten sponges."

Good thing my self-esteem doesn't rest on what people think of my weight...(excuse me while I go emotionally eat my way through a carton of soy ice cream...)

Happy 4th From the Quigleys!

Happy 4th of July! I hope you're having a relaxing day...

We've been home relaxing since about 11 this morning, but our day started off with a bang. Actually, our day will end with a bang--it started with a float. We all got to participate in the Greensboro Fourth of July parade on the Troop 316 float. Jake and Ike helped decorate the float yesterday, then the four of us headed out early this morning to ride, hand out flags and wave. Jake saw an old friend from Pre-K in the crowd, which was very cool, and we generally agreed that this was the best way to spend time at the Fun Fourth celebration: be one of the first floats, then leave. Tonight we'll go to a party some friends are hosting and we'll watch fireworks from their house.

Pictures? Of course! Why else would I have even posted this entry?

Annie and Jake hanging out before the parade started.


Ike and Annie before the parade. Notice how many pictures Annie is in? Two-year-olds are highly photogenic...when they're still...


This is the part of the float Jake worked on. He refused to be in this picture.


Jake and his friend Ben from his den. See how (not) comfortable Jake is with having friends hug him? It's hereditary. (Of course, looking at this picture again, it does look like Ben is getting ready to eat Jake's head. Perhaps that's why Jake looks uncomfortable.)


Annie and I waved at the crowd from the float. Getting on the float with a toddler was...tricky, to say the least. But once we were on, we held our ground, only having to knock three Cub Scouts off to keep our position.


Jake worked the crowd, giving out flags left and right and waving like a champ. He loved it, we'll definitely do it again next year.

Highway Robbery?

Tonight after starting Jake's bathwater, I walked into the kitchen to find him wasting my dish soap by pouring it all over the sink.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I asked, calmly and rationally (I'm much more calm and rational after Annie goes to bed these days).

"I'm washing dishes."

"Oh, you are? Then you'll need a dish rag."

"No, I'm just using the soap and the sprayer."

So the plan was this: "wash" the dishes by making soap bubbles all over the sink...

As I walked out (I chose the path of least resistance: walk away), he added this.

"I like to wash dishes, Mom. It's fun and I get paid."

What?? Get paid to waste soap and make a mess???

Yes, he got paid (a quarter). I'm a pushover. But here's what came to mind as I was fishing through Ike's pockets (shh, maybe he won't read this...) to find a quarter. You know those guys in big cities who jump in front of a car in traffic and start squeegeeing the windshield without being asked to, then expect you to pay them?

Do you think they get started at their mom's kitchen sink?