Looking for a job

Well, I narrowly missed having to find a new job today. On his way home from pirate camp (by the way, he brought home a sea turtle shield, a pirate hat, a treasure map and a pirate flag...what in the world do they have left to make??), Jake fired me. Here's how it went.

J: Mommy, you're fired.
B: Uh...what?
J: You're fired. You lost your job.
B: Jake? What is my job?
J: You know, taking care of us.
B: So...I can't take care of you anymore? Who is going to do that?
J: Nobody.
B: Whose going to take care of Annie?
J: Me.
B: (thinking hard) Well, you can't breastfeed her, though.
J: (eye rolling, "duh" attitude) I can give her a bottle.
B: Well, what about her dirty diapers? Are you going to change those?
J: (obviously not expecting this) No, I'll just leave her in them.
B: But Jake, she'll be really fussy and get sick if you leave her in dirty diapers.
J: (quiet for five minutes or so) Okay, you can keep your job.
B: Oh yeah? What made you change your mind?
J: I'd miss you and stuff.
B: (big smile, wiping tears from eyes) Thanks, sweetie.
J: Yeah. And plus, I can't drive yet.

So that's why he keeps me around...