I'm A Girl, Okay??

I never realized just how girly I really was (am) until I had a preschool-aged boy. I was never big into dresses or make-up, thought I was a boy til at age 5 or so my babysitter told me I had to wear a shirt even if my best friend (a boy) didn’t. That simple command simmered in my brain for years, eventually leading to my Women’s Studies major in college, the Feminist Majority conference during which I got to hear Gloria Steinam speak, and my participation in organizing Take Back The Night marches. (Of course, all of that was good training for my current career as a Stay-At-Home-Mom.)

I was a feminist, but certainly not feminine.

These days, I see my girliness everywhere. Each time we fight lightsabers, I hear, "Mommy, Jedi knights do not scream when someone tries to fight them." When I am brought a Transformer to transform (and I always liked Transformers!), I am left lost and confused, usually trying to change the thing around until in frustration I suggest, "Can't we just color now?" The obsession my son has with anything resembling a sword, gun, lightsaber, what-have-you, leaves me wondering, "Wouldn't he just rather read a book?" Daddy is a punching bag, Uncle Billy is a punching bag, Mommy is most decidedly not interested in being a punching bag. Getting punched hurts.

And nothing shows off my newfound femininity more than the Bug Discovery exhibit at the Natural Science Center. Jake loves the bugs. Friday when we went to the museum, the first thing he wanted to see was the bug exhibit.

Okay, I'm alright with the snakes. The snakes (except for the ones in the petting zoo) are behind glass. But you know, the bugs... They're behind glass with this holey mesh stuff at the top. And you know, they're bugs. The whole point of a bug is to escape through holes. You see why I'm uncomfortable?

Plus, hissing cockroaches?? Cockroaches should not hiss. The only noise a cockroach should make is crunch. Under a shoe, I mean.

But the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach (seen above. Some people even raise them as pets.) was actually the least of my problems. At the Science Center, they have a new bug: The Scarab Beetle. Those suckers are the biggest beetle I've ever seen. They climb to the top of their cage (trying to get out to eat someone, I'm sure), then fall with a spine-tingling plop. Well, anyway, my spine tingled.

Jake and I passed the beetles with no problem and became absorbed with the poster about good bugs. The ones that help farmers, I mean. I'm reading this to him and we're talking about it when I hear PLOP!

I jumped. I yelped. I cursed (oops).

Jake rolled his eyes and said, "Don't be scared, Mommy. Let's go look at the dinosaurs."

Good choice. Those guys are way dead.