Tonight was the second and last childbirth refresher class for us. Thank you to Leslie for staying with Jake and doing these amazing cool things with him. He'll be talking about it for days. :)
So, the class. Well, let me say, I loved the nurse who taught these two classes. Her personality was wonderful and she shared great personal stories that helped us feel like she'd been there. Four births, all natural...I'd say she's been there more often than anyone taking the class ever will be.
That being said, let me tell you what isn't a funny joke to tell when you're teaching a childbirth class... Tonight she pulled out various and sundry (those words mean the same thing. Why do people always use both?) tools that can go along with a birth. You know, forceps (yikes!), the vacuum (um...yikes!), the crocheting needle they use to break someone's water...etc. She pulled out the internal heart monitor, used when a baby's heartrate can't be read while still inside mommy. It's a little tube that is attached to the baby's head (since that's the part that should be coming out first) and at the other end attaches to a machine that takes readings.
So here's how she describes this monitor and how it works. "They take the end of the tube and screw it into the baby's head. Don't worry, it doesn't go in very far. They stop just before they see brain matter."
The room was deadly silent. I think I heard one dad gag. I started doing Kegels (this is my response to any stressful stimulus these days. Kegel exercises are supposed to cure anything). Then she said, "That was a joke, people. You're supposed to be laughing."
Oh. Hardy har har. Tighten, tighten, squeeze, relax muscles. (That's a Kegel exercise.)
Then there was the poor baby doll. You might remember this model doll from last week. The one who got stuck in the fake pelvis? Well, tonight the forceps were used on Baby X. As she tried to explain that forceps are actually not as bad as they look...we all watched her mangle this baby head with them. Whack, whack on the ear. Bang, bang on the nose. Yeah...they don't look like they'd hurt. Tighten, tighten, squeeze, relax muscles.
Despite the funny/scary incidents, I felt great after attending this class. Ike and I are prepared in a much different way with this child than we were with Jake. I feel more confident and more in control. I'm not saying that I'll go against my doctor's ideas on what's best. He's been delivering babies since before I was born (and maybe since before my mother was born), so I'm going to listen to him if he thinks I need a certain drug at a certain time or a c-section. But I do feel like I'm more...maybe just more interested in being a part of this birth. I'm not as afraid as I was the first time. Ike and I got a chance to practice breathing techniques (and coaching on his part), and we had a good conversation on the way home about his role in this birth. When I had Jake, I think we both felt a little out of control and hurried into decisions that we didn't necessarily need to make (would it have hurt to let me have a couple of contractions before giving me the epidural??). I think I've spent the past four years thinking I just can't handle pain when in reality I haven't given myself enough credit.
I'm not saying I'm going natural and I'm not saying I don't love epidurals. But I've come a long way from saying, "I'm in month three of my pregnancy. Can I get the epidural now??"
Next task: pick out music for a cd to play while I'm laboring. You know, Eminem and TLC suddenly don't seem like the best picks. (I don't listen to Eminem, but I threw him in for Brandee.) :)
Tomorrow is the 13th. We'll see if Baby Annie comes. Tighten, tighten, squeeze, relax muscles.
So, the class. Well, let me say, I loved the nurse who taught these two classes. Her personality was wonderful and she shared great personal stories that helped us feel like she'd been there. Four births, all natural...I'd say she's been there more often than anyone taking the class ever will be.
That being said, let me tell you what isn't a funny joke to tell when you're teaching a childbirth class... Tonight she pulled out various and sundry (those words mean the same thing. Why do people always use both?) tools that can go along with a birth. You know, forceps (yikes!), the vacuum (um...yikes!), the crocheting needle they use to break someone's water...etc. She pulled out the internal heart monitor, used when a baby's heartrate can't be read while still inside mommy. It's a little tube that is attached to the baby's head (since that's the part that should be coming out first) and at the other end attaches to a machine that takes readings.
So here's how she describes this monitor and how it works. "They take the end of the tube and screw it into the baby's head. Don't worry, it doesn't go in very far. They stop just before they see brain matter."
The room was deadly silent. I think I heard one dad gag. I started doing Kegels (this is my response to any stressful stimulus these days. Kegel exercises are supposed to cure anything). Then she said, "That was a joke, people. You're supposed to be laughing."
Oh. Hardy har har. Tighten, tighten, squeeze, relax muscles. (That's a Kegel exercise.)
Then there was the poor baby doll. You might remember this model doll from last week. The one who got stuck in the fake pelvis? Well, tonight the forceps were used on Baby X. As she tried to explain that forceps are actually not as bad as they look...we all watched her mangle this baby head with them. Whack, whack on the ear. Bang, bang on the nose. Yeah...they don't look like they'd hurt. Tighten, tighten, squeeze, relax muscles.
Despite the funny/scary incidents, I felt great after attending this class. Ike and I are prepared in a much different way with this child than we were with Jake. I feel more confident and more in control. I'm not saying that I'll go against my doctor's ideas on what's best. He's been delivering babies since before I was born (and maybe since before my mother was born), so I'm going to listen to him if he thinks I need a certain drug at a certain time or a c-section. But I do feel like I'm more...maybe just more interested in being a part of this birth. I'm not as afraid as I was the first time. Ike and I got a chance to practice breathing techniques (and coaching on his part), and we had a good conversation on the way home about his role in this birth. When I had Jake, I think we both felt a little out of control and hurried into decisions that we didn't necessarily need to make (would it have hurt to let me have a couple of contractions before giving me the epidural??). I think I've spent the past four years thinking I just can't handle pain when in reality I haven't given myself enough credit.
I'm not saying I'm going natural and I'm not saying I don't love epidurals. But I've come a long way from saying, "I'm in month three of my pregnancy. Can I get the epidural now??"
Next task: pick out music for a cd to play while I'm laboring. You know, Eminem and TLC suddenly don't seem like the best picks. (I don't listen to Eminem, but I threw him in for Brandee.) :)
Tomorrow is the 13th. We'll see if Baby Annie comes. Tighten, tighten, squeeze, relax muscles.
3 Comments:
I think a lot of people feel rushed and unsure the first pregnancy. I waited longer the 2nd time around to ask for the Epidural too. Just one word of advice...I waited til I realized I just couldn't take the pain anymore. So I calmly asked the nurse for my epidural now. The guy showed up an hour later! He is lucky he had the power to releave my suffering or I would of ripped his head of for taking so long!!
I'm getting so excited for you guys...can't wait to see the baby!
I've got two bags of microwave popcorn and I am ready to sit in the waiting room with the masses. For your sake, I hope there isn't an intermission though.
Push her out!
Shove her out!
Waaaaayyyyy out!
Yeaaaahhhh!
I definitely think you should play Eminem. He's got such a nice beat, you can push to the rythm, LOL. But serious, I think I took alot more initiative in making decisions with my second too. I always felt like C was my practice kid cause I did so much learning with her, LOL. Poor girl! I'm with Tracy though, I can't wait to see this baby!! Oh, and it looks like you have an excellant cheering section for the hospital. Want me to bring Caila's pom poms to help out?? ;-)
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