Ike's Response

Ike responded to his mom's menu in the following email. I can see Jake growing up to be a man like this. I believe the term is smartass...

Dear Mrs. Quigley,

After careful consideration of your proposed
Thanksgiving Holiday Menu by the Culinary Standards
Committee for Holiday Quality (aka C.S.C.H.Q.) we are
pleased to inform you that your proposal has been
accepted.  There were two minor issue we would like to
bring to your attention.

1) The use of the word "congealed" in line item 8,
"Congealed Cold Cranberry Salad" was referred to the
Culinary Standards Adjective Usage Sub-committee and
it was recommended that whereas "congealed" suggests
old or spoiled, (ie. The blood congealed on the
festering open wound.) that it be replaced with a more
suitable adjective.  Recommendations included;
Gelatinous, Tasty, Scrumptious, Refreshing and
Luscious.  We leave it up to your discretion for
appropriate action.

2) There was also a suggestion in the general
committee that line item 16, which reads "Hand Picked
Deep Dish Apple Pie," might be changed to "Deep Dish
Hand Picked Apple Pie," as that one might confuse the
deep dishes as being hand picked rather than the
apples.  Of course, it might have been your intention
to hand pick the dish that will be used to bake the
apple pie, but insofar as hand picking a dish is not
nearly as special as hand picking the apple
ingredients, we felt that this was the message you
wished to convey.

At this time, we feel it is appropriate for you to
begin planning the menu as such.  However, before you
begin, you must be aware that several legal issues
must be taken care of beforehand.  First, it is
necessary, of course, for you to sign a written
contract binding yourself to such a menu.  We suggest
contacting our law office as soon as possible to
comply with this requirement.  Second, it is also
suggested that you obtain some form of bond or
insurance to protect yourself against any legal
proceedings, should you find yourself unable to
complete the menu as described owing to any
unfortunate natural disasters such as flood, fire or
cracked eggs.  I'm sure, with your exemplary record of
cooking perfect Thanksgiving meals throughout the
years, you'll find the cost of such protection
minimal.

Finally, now that we have approved the menu, we
suggest creating samples of each item and sending it
to our office for final approval.  Perhaps a full
twenty business days before the scheduled holiday
dinner would be acceptable.

Thank you for your prompt response to our request per
our oral conversation yesterday.  We look forward for
the annual meal towards the end of this calendar
month.

Best Regards,
Your son.